astari is mentally ill

it's not that i'm crazy, but things go out of hand with my mind.
on tuesday night, i wasn't feeling happy. i'm feeling unsecured and lonely. i felt that no body wants me and they doesnt't care about me. gue gagg tw how it starts, tp yg jls it all started with a mother fuckin guy that made me feel like shit.

gue gagg mw kedengaran kyk cry baby or watever, tp yg jls yg gue pngn lakuin adalah nangis sederas derasnya. i hate him so much for being cruel and making me feel awful. bisa juga sih ini bukan salah dia. mungkin dari guenya. tp when he texted me, i felt his emotion of "you are useless, fuck off!"

my god, i felt soooo angry. i did something that releases my anger which maybe some people will do if the got angry and sad.

i have to talk to somebody that night. i need a support and encouragement. so texted je..

"je, lagi ngapain?"

trus dia bls...

"lagi ngerjain bi ast, gue lembur nii"

i realised that she was busy. so i find another people. tara.

she's a sweet heart and her support gave me a little boost.

so here is the message from her...

"If God put u to it He will make u thru it. i always 1 step behind you stef 2 support u in everything you do!!"

then she gave me a quote from Blake Lively, Gossip Girl.

"If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you then its yours forever. If it doesn't then it was never yours to begin with"

after i read that quotes, i believe that God will give me things that are awesome for me. after a few days, i forgot about him, i throw all my troubles away.

TARA, THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT DEAR. YOU REALLY MADE MY DAY. I LOVE YA!

ps: my mock exam suck so bad. my dad and i decide that i just take certificate. i 'm no good in all of the subject.

love,

azt